Why do we try so hard to control what happens next, even when we know we can’t?
We try to control outcomes. We try to control how other people respond to us. We anticipate what could go wrong. We want to know we’re making the right decision before we make it.
But underneath our need for control is something much deeper.
In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the most powerful drivers of the automatic mind: our basic human needs.
We all have six fundamental needs, but the first four- certainty, variety, significance, and love and connection- are deeply connected to the patterns we develop to feel safe, secure, accepted, and in control.
The problem isn’t that we have these needs. The problem begins when our automatic mind decides that one of them must be protected at all costs.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The six basic human needs and why they matter
- How the automatic mind uses control to create emotional safety
- Why certainty and predictability can quietly keep you stuck
- The two human needs that can change everything
- How to move from controlling the outcome to intentionally creating your response
Because you don’t have to control what happens next to intentionally create who you become next.
Reflection Questions
- Where are you currently trying to control an outcome because uncertainty feels uncomfortable?
- Which of the six human needs do you notice driving your automatic patterns most often?
- If you stopped trying to control what happens next, who would you intentionally choose to be in the uncertainty?
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